How was School Today?

“Good”

                --Anonymous

I was scouring the internet and my book of quotes for something profound and wise about parenting or talking with children. I found many, but thought this was the most appropriate quote, since it is probably the way 99% of our students respond when asked about their day at school. Sometimes, if they are feeling particularly talkative, they may say “It was fine, Dad.” Most of my conversations look like this:

So, how do you get more than a two or three word response from your child when you ask them about their day? Three words.

Practice. Practice. Practice. To help you start practicing, here are three tips for fostering conversations about school.  

Ask a specific question that forces a multiple word response. 

 Rather than asking, “How was your day?” try asking “What was the best part of your day?” Then, ask the follow up question, “Why was lunch the best part of your day?” 

Use Renweb as a resource.

 Renweb has a calendar of events and teachers often post assignments, as well as grades. So instead of asking “Did you learn anything today?” try saying “I saw that your class is reading Because of Winn-Dixie, what is that about?”

Use “wait time” and bite your tongue.

Sometimes the best question is the one not asked. When your child gets in the car or you see them at home, just say, “I am so glad to see you” and count to 10. Usually, they will start telling you about their day without you asking. 

 

We easily fall into the habit of using conversational crutches. For example, how often, do you greet someone on the phone or in person by saying, “Hey, what’s going on?” or “What are you up to?” and then just keep on talking because you didn't really expect them to tell you exactly what they were doing, that is just how you start the conversation. Don’t make the same mistake by having your default greeting when you pick up your child be, “How was school?” Hopefully if you can frame different questions using the tips above your conversations will look more like this:

DISCLAIMER: Results may vary, especially if your child is in middle school!